PR Department

Brand trailers

• Your story, properly framed.

  The launch trailer · every print · 50 seconds

  Our launch trailer. Seven stories, each told by its print and then hung on a real wall; after which the entire range orbits a spiral galaxy, for reasons of scale. The narrator is a professional. The families are invented; the prints are not.

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• Every occasion, properly framed.

  Brand film 2 · ten occasions · 39 seconds

  Ten occasions in thirty-nine seconds, each marked with the appropriate weather: confetti for birthdays, snow for Christmas, fireworks for retirement. Our effects department was given a free hand and has not yet returned it. The families are invented; the prints are not.

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• The Print Machine

  Brand film 3 · how a print is made · 46 seconds

  A documentary look inside the machine: each story laid down ink by ink, boxed with more care than is strictly necessary, then hung where it belongs. The machine is a dramatisation; the prints, the paper and the box are real.

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The campaign so far

Sound on, please. Our sound designers were not cheap.

• Commercial No. 1: The Complete Range

  All prints · 35 seconds · one take

  Our flagship film. A comprehensive tour of the entire AntiRecreation range, delivered with the restraint and gravitas the subject demands. Industry observers have described the pyrotechnics as proportionate. Includes a full safety statement, as required.

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• Commercial No. 2: The Front Page

  The Front Page print · 34 seconds · archival format

  A sober historical treatment of the Front Page print, painstakingly period-accurate down to the boffins. Our head of research asks it be noted that the weather is not included in the print. It is not.

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• Commercial No. 4: The Family Crossword

  The Family Crossword print · 46 seconds · light entertainment

  Saturday-night light entertainment, staged in full: the clues, the tiles, the studio audience, the prize. The audience is simulated. Their enthusiasm is not.

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• Commercial No. 5: The Night the Moon Stood Still

  The Moon print · 51 seconds · black and white, then colour

  A landmark in astronomical advertising. The moon is shown exactly as it stood on the night in question, which is more than most films can say. The transition to colour was achieved at considerable expense.

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• Commercial No. 7: Planet Relatives

  The Family Tree print · 54 seconds · natural history

  Filmed at dawn from a hide in Swindon by a crew who did not move for three days. A rare sighting of the family tree in its natural habitat. No grandparents were fed.

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• Commercial No. 8: The Grid

  The Word Search print · 50 seconds · thriller

  A heist picture of considerable tension. Fourteen names, one grid, and a crew who have done this before. Rated H for Hidden by the same strict board.

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• Commercial No. 9: Not Just Any Framed Print

  The Moon print · 53 seconds · fine foods

  Our most sensuous work. Every adjective in it is true, which our lawyers found disappointing. Serving suggestion: a wall.

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• Commercial No. 10: Changed My Life

  The Certificate print · 63 seconds · testimonial

  A study in restraint. No effects, no music cues, no jokes: one woman, one print, and the truth. Our research department confirms that everything that happened to her happened after she bought it.

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• Commercial No. 11: NO DAD

  The Map print · 44 seconds · group chat

  A family drama shot entirely inside a sibling group chat, where modern families now make every important decision. Dad is removed from the chat in the first second, for operational reasons. The family is fictional; the prints are real.

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• Commercial No. 12: Has Anyone Lost This Cat?

  The Pet Records print · 41 seconds · community notice

  A neighbourhood appeal, answered by the neighbourhood. One ginger cat, five households, five names and a group admin doing his best. The cat is fictional; the paperwork is real.

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• Commercial No. 13: It’s Nan

  The Soundwave print · 52 seconds · voicemail

  A family saga in five voicemails, the medium most nans prefer. Nan says goodbye twelve times; Grandad says one word. The family is fictional; the print, and its wave, are real.

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• Commercial No. 14: Grandad, noun

  The Family Words print · 57 seconds · group chat

  A family writes the dictionary entry for their grandad and finds the hard part is the word limit. Three meanings, several arguments, one butter knife. The family is fictional; the print is real.

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• Commercial No. 15: Read the bottom line

  The Eye Chart print · 39 seconds · phone video

  Dad takes the family eye test and finds out where he ranks. Below the dog. Below the tortoise. The family is fictional; the print is real.

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• Commercial No. 16: Paper anniversary

  The Vows print · 41 seconds · notes app

  The first anniversary is paper. She works through every paper idea, toilet roll included, before she lands on the vows. The couple is fictional; the print is real.

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• Commercial No. 17: Mile 20

  The Route print · 32 seconds · running app

  A first marathon told by its mile splits, with comments from the family. Mile 20 involved a jelly baby. The runner is fictional; the London course and the print are real.

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• Commercial No. 18: The case against Murphy

  The Pet Records print · 54 seconds · case file

  A true-crime investigation into a missing Victoria sponge. One suspect. Two previous offences. The dog is fictional; the print is real.

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• Commercial No. 19: Reply All

  The Certificate print · 44 seconds · email thread

  Brian from Accounts is retiring after 38 years, and 1,247 colleagues reply all to say so. Then Brian replies. The office is fictional; the print is real.

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• Commercial No. 20: Breaking News

  The Newspaper print · 43 seconds · news bulletin

  Reports are coming in that a local man has turned sixty. He has asked for no fuss. There will be fuss. Keith is fictional; the 1966 front page is real.

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Further commercials are in post-production. Awards are pending. The families in the films are actors and the names are invented; the prints are not. Broadcast enquiries to the usual hatch.